"Trust" - Perspective for March 31, 2011

“Trust”: Any and all relationships are built and maintained on the foundation of trust.

I recently had dinner with a good friend of mine. My friend is a man of principle and conviction. He is one with whom I have much in common, though the things of church life are not among them. Over dinner I was greatly intrigued by one comment he made: “Trust can only be present in the absence of judgment.”

I have thought about that statement much since hearing him say it. How strong is my tendency to judge those around me. I may not know their circumstance nor all the information that shaped their decision, yet I tend to cast my judgment on them. If my friend is correct in his statement, my judgment of others is a demonstration of a lack of trust.

Jack Gibb suggests that trust is the result of a risk successfully survived. It is true that for us to trust we must risk getting hurt and disappointed. But there are three ways we can build trust:

1. Learn to trust yourself. If you are not honest with yourself you will not be able to be honest with others. Self deception is the enemy of all human relationships.
2. Trust includes all areas of life. If one cannot be trusted in all points of life, they cannot be trusted in any point. A trustworthy character is one who never cuts a corner for any reason.
3. Trust is like a bank account: one must continue to make deposits in order for it to grow. It can take a life-time to build trust in a relationship; 10 minutes and one bad decision can destroy what took a life-time to build.

Trusting others is always going to be a risk. But it is a risk worth taking. Without trust, you cannot build healthy, lasting relationships. Your marriage will never stand a chance of improving. Your hurts will multiply without trust. Take the plunge of faith and begin to trust again. It begins with a choice. It continues as you manage that choice daily. There are three ways I think your trust can grow again:

1. Forgive the wrong that was done to you. You have power over the other person who was wrong. What would happen if you used that power to offer forgiveness. Your bitterness will not hurt the other person; but it may well kill your joy.
2. Validate the expectation that the violation must never happen again. Forgiving others doesn’t mean allowing them to continue hurting you.
3. Choose to remember their better moments.  If we look for the bad in people we are bound to find it; the same is true if we look for the good.

The verse that comes to mind when I think of “trust” is Proverbs 3:5-6: “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Think of the risk God took when he sent His son to die for you in hope of becoming your friend. Go ahead, my friend, take the risk of forgiving someone today and allow trust to spring hope within you again. The potential gain is worth the risk!

This is my perspective. What’s yours?
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Brent

"Love" - Perspective for March 28, 2011

“Love” is perhaps over used and used incorrectly by proper English grammar. The grammatically correct rule is one loves people and likes things. But for all my life I have heard others use English incorrectly:

• I love my jacket
• I love to hike
• I love pizza
• I love doing crossword puzzles, etc.

As I was thinking of this word “Love” this morning, I began to think of an example of love that is very close to my heart. In 1975 I met a young lady who had gorgeous dark hair that flowed all the way down her back almost to her waistline. She had been a softball player and a cheerleader in high school and she was shaped in all the right places to catch a young 18 year old adolescent’s eyes. We met the very first day we stepped onto the college campus in Nyack, NY. Three weeks later I asked her out for our first date. I was so stinkin' scared that she would turn me down that I barely had the nerve to form the words with my cotton-dry mouth. What a rush when she replied, “I’d love to go see Gone with the Wind with you, Brent”.  WoW!

I was certainly infatuated with her that day, but I did not love her…yet. In fact, I don’t know what day my love for her started, nor hers for me. However, 35 1/2 years later I am helplessly in love with that girl!  She has changed a bit. Her hair is short now. Lady Clairol comes to visit with her every once in a while. She doesn’t play softball very well anymore…but my-oh- my, does she still cheer. And her favorite guy in the whole world to cheer is me! She whispers things to me, that are our secret! She knows when I am discouraged, tired, or frustrated, and she always seems to know what to say and do to brighten my day. She has served me so faithfully for over 3 decades of marriage.   She has never complained about being the primary cook in the family. She has never complained that she does way more loads of laundry than I do. She has complained over the years that I leave my dirty socks on the floor occasionally. So, I try to get it right all the time now.

Susan will always stand out to me as the best example of ‘love’ that I have ever consistently seen in my life. I would hate to think of life without her companionship and friendship. She loves me and I love her.

This marriage relationship is the one God uses to describe His love for you, the “Church”. He loves us unconditionally and gave himself for us! He calls us to also love Him. As a man is called by God to be faithful to his wife and a wife to her husband, so God calls us to express our love for Him by living a life of PURITY.

God would love to have you express you love to him right now. Would you take a minute to tell Him how much you love him and renew your commitment to walk in the purity of that love today?

This is my Perspective. What is yours as you read 1 John 3:7-10?  

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Have a great day!

Brent